American humor/jokes

A tourist tours cathedrals across Europe — €1,000 to speak to God in Paris, Cologne, and Rome. Then he reaches a tiny chapel in Scotland and gets the same deal for 20 pence. The reason? "Ye're in Scotland now, lad. It's a local call."

A man drives his wife's cat further and further from home to lose it for good — but the cat always beats him back. When he finally drives it across three counties, he calls home hours later with one desperate request.

An atheist hiker asks God to make the attacking bear a Christian — and deeply regrets it when the bear bows its head and starts saying the blessing.

A 90-year-old man tells his doctor that God himself controls the bathroom light for him every night... his wife has a very different explanation.